Music inspires me so much. Sometimes my greatest inspiration to write is from music. I will hear a song and see a story that goes with it. A song could break me down or build me up. A piano piece could make me cry, or laugh. An orchestra could easily bring me to my knees. Music is one of the most beautiful things in this world, and we can't even see it. There is a song that touched my heart at my tonight. We sang it in worship at my weekly bible study. Out of the 5 songs our worship leader sang I only recognized two. The first one, "You're Beautiful", was great, but it didn't effect me like it usually does. But the final song she sang, "Above All"...I was so moved, I was shaking and I almost began to cry. This line hit me so hard I almost lost my breath:
"You lived to die, rejected and alone.
Like a rose trampled on the ground.
You took the fall, and thought of ME,
Above ALL!"
Have you ever seen a rose trampled on the ground? It's pathetic, sad, useless, unkempt, destroyed, humiliated. Something so beautiful, perfect, unique, colorful, sweet smelling, confident: GONE! Can you imagine never seeing a rose again? Not even in a flower shop. Never again seeing one of the most popular flowers of sorrowful mourners and forgetful husbands.
"You lived to die, rejected and alone"
Can you imagine you're only purpose in life is to die? You're ultimate goal in life is to die at a young age. Not just die, murdered! Murdered by the people you trusted. You will be hated by everyone you know. All alone, the only person left who believes in you won't be able to do anything but watch you die. Now imagine knowing all of this from birth on.
You can't can you? Because we don't know our future. We never will. But Jesus did. He knew he would be the rose, trampled on the ground. He knew he would live to die. He knew he would be rejected, and alone. But you know why he did it?
"You took the fall, and thought of ME,
Above ALL!"
He did it for you, for me, for everyone! In all of the things he could've thought about while he was dieing, it wasn't "Oh cool it get to be with my dad now." or "You're wrong you losers!" or "I'll be back!" No, he thought of YOU! YOU! He thought of ME! How amazing is that?! That the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE loves you so much that he would put his son's life up in exchange for yours, but he was HUMILIATED, which could be far worse than death. So next time you see a rose, trampled on the ground. Remember who took the fall, who thought of you, ABOVE ALL!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Today was...odd
To be perfectly honest, I don't have anything insightful to say, I don't have a funny story to tell, and I am not really sure why I felt like I wanted to write a blog right now. Perhaps I have done too much homework and my brain is fried. Perhaps I just want to escape from school, knowing I'm stuck here for another 2 and half hours. But, today was, and still is, odd. I woke up this morning, tired, cranky, and groggy. I wanted to just hit the snooze button and never wake up again. After a few moments (all right....a half hour) of waking up, I started on my homework. My mom calls me from the kitchen "Ashton!" I assume something is wrong. I so spring to life and jog down the hall and I hear "Are you seeing this?" I am confused then I look out the window and BAM! IT'S SNOWING! The dream of every student: a snow day. But it stopped snowing about a half hour later and there was no snow on my campus or at any homes near the campus...so, lovely! I still had to go to school.
So I go to school at around 10:40ish, my first class of the day starts at noon, so I have time to do homework. I sit in the library and read the skinniest 200 page book you will ever see in your life. I made a good dent in it before I went to eat lunch outside. It's still bitterly cold, but I wanted to be in silence. I grabbed my book and my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and started reading. Then out of nowhere, here comes a skipping friend to join me. She made my day. She was so full of life and joy today. Then a boy by the name of Daniel walked by. He's becoming a friend of mine, I have met him twice before. He was with a friend. He greets me, and then walks away. He comes back out in a short while and sits down next to me. His friend is still with him. I ask him how he's doing, he says fine. His friend chimes in and says "Daniel's got a girlfriend." Now this sounds like me. I have done that to my friends before. But I could tell he didn't like it. I defended him by saying I have only met him twice before. His friend still wouldn't let up. Then the time had come when I had to go to my class. My good friend and I parted ways while Daniel and his friend seemed to be stalking me. Why? I don't know. I do know that Daniel ran in front of me to get the door for me. Oh, how sweet. :) So I walk to the door to my classroom when lo and behold: IT'S CANCELED! Yeah, thanks for letting me know...
I then go back to my place in the library when I run into a friend of mine who is also in the class that was canceled. We sat next to each other and both worked on homework for two hours. I also run into a friend whom I haven't seen in almost 3 months. I go back to my computer and check my e-mail, then I realize that my teacher's Secretary sent me an e-mail telling me that class was canceled....my bad.
I ask my friend if she knows how to set up an advisor appointment. She says I can e-mail them and she shows me how. AWESOME! Now I can get that done...right? WRONG! I filled out the form, hit send.....and the little spinning loading circle of death spun for God knows how long. Then a screen pops up that says "Sever Error." What in cheese puffs is that supposed to mean?! So I try again, this time the spinning circle of death spun for, no lie, 10 MINUTES! I had to log off and go to my next class so I didn't get a chance to e-mail my advisor. ....lame.
I go to my next class that was full of misunderstandings. Now, don't get me wrong, I like my teacher as a friend...but as a teacher...well, sometimes (and this happens to me all the time, hence why I don't want to be a teacher) there's a miscommunication with a question that is asked. So we spent at least half of the class time arguing with the teacher, trying to make him understand what the question was. Me? I stayed out of it and doodled for the duration of the class period.
So, today seems normal to those who don't have my life, but to me, the only word I can use to describe it is odd. Because it was good in some parts, bad in some parts, and in some parts I had mixed feelings. Tomorrow it's supposed to snow here....Thursday too. I wonder what tomorrow will be like.
So I go to school at around 10:40ish, my first class of the day starts at noon, so I have time to do homework. I sit in the library and read the skinniest 200 page book you will ever see in your life. I made a good dent in it before I went to eat lunch outside. It's still bitterly cold, but I wanted to be in silence. I grabbed my book and my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and started reading. Then out of nowhere, here comes a skipping friend to join me. She made my day. She was so full of life and joy today. Then a boy by the name of Daniel walked by. He's becoming a friend of mine, I have met him twice before. He was with a friend. He greets me, and then walks away. He comes back out in a short while and sits down next to me. His friend is still with him. I ask him how he's doing, he says fine. His friend chimes in and says "Daniel's got a girlfriend." Now this sounds like me. I have done that to my friends before. But I could tell he didn't like it. I defended him by saying I have only met him twice before. His friend still wouldn't let up. Then the time had come when I had to go to my class. My good friend and I parted ways while Daniel and his friend seemed to be stalking me. Why? I don't know. I do know that Daniel ran in front of me to get the door for me. Oh, how sweet. :) So I walk to the door to my classroom when lo and behold: IT'S CANCELED! Yeah, thanks for letting me know...
I then go back to my place in the library when I run into a friend of mine who is also in the class that was canceled. We sat next to each other and both worked on homework for two hours. I also run into a friend whom I haven't seen in almost 3 months. I go back to my computer and check my e-mail, then I realize that my teacher's Secretary sent me an e-mail telling me that class was canceled....my bad.
I ask my friend if she knows how to set up an advisor appointment. She says I can e-mail them and she shows me how. AWESOME! Now I can get that done...right? WRONG! I filled out the form, hit send.....and the little spinning loading circle of death spun for God knows how long. Then a screen pops up that says "Sever Error." What in cheese puffs is that supposed to mean?! So I try again, this time the spinning circle of death spun for, no lie, 10 MINUTES! I had to log off and go to my next class so I didn't get a chance to e-mail my advisor. ....lame.
I go to my next class that was full of misunderstandings. Now, don't get me wrong, I like my teacher as a friend...but as a teacher...well, sometimes (and this happens to me all the time, hence why I don't want to be a teacher) there's a miscommunication with a question that is asked. So we spent at least half of the class time arguing with the teacher, trying to make him understand what the question was. Me? I stayed out of it and doodled for the duration of the class period.
So, today seems normal to those who don't have my life, but to me, the only word I can use to describe it is odd. Because it was good in some parts, bad in some parts, and in some parts I had mixed feelings. Tomorrow it's supposed to snow here....Thursday too. I wonder what tomorrow will be like.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Inspiration from a tree stump
I was taking a walk a few days ago. I had my notebook in hand, praying for some inspiration for the story/hopeful novel that I am attempting to write. One day I will tell you about this story, but that day is not today. You see, I did not get inspiration to write my story, I got inspiration to write a poem. So here it is:
A Girl Standing on a Stump
How often nature mirrors man.
Or does man mirror nature?
Branches crunch as I take steps over them,
I hear the bones of a child.
Saw dust, moistened by the melted snow,
I see the blood of soldiers.
A great tree stood above the rest
and now I stand on its stump.
I am now the new ruler
of a land filled with dead.
Bodies shamelessly on top of one another.
Their muscle is seen from beneath,
Their freshly peeled skin.
Their arms reaching out for one to save them.
Their lifeless faces blend in with the rest.
No one is aware of this massacre that took place.
But they are only trees,
and I am only a girl standing on a stump.
~Feb 2011
Here's a picture I took of the trees:
Perhaps this could be seen as a "Greeny" or "Environmentalist" poem about cruelty to trees. It could be seen as a crazy chick standing on stump. However, that's not how I wrote it. The reason I wrote it is because the scene reminded me of pictures I have seen of destruction, pain, chaos, death. I thought of how nature mirrored it so perfectly I had to preserve it in a poem. Do you see how nature mirrors man? Or is it man mirroring nature?
A Girl Standing on a Stump
How often nature mirrors man.
Or does man mirror nature?
Branches crunch as I take steps over them,
I hear the bones of a child.
Saw dust, moistened by the melted snow,
I see the blood of soldiers.
A great tree stood above the rest
and now I stand on its stump.
I am now the new ruler
of a land filled with dead.
Bodies shamelessly on top of one another.
Their muscle is seen from beneath,
Their freshly peeled skin.
Their arms reaching out for one to save them.
Their lifeless faces blend in with the rest.
No one is aware of this massacre that took place.
But they are only trees,
and I am only a girl standing on a stump.
~Feb 2011
Here's a picture I took of the trees:
Perhaps this could be seen as a "Greeny" or "Environmentalist" poem about cruelty to trees. It could be seen as a crazy chick standing on stump. However, that's not how I wrote it. The reason I wrote it is because the scene reminded me of pictures I have seen of destruction, pain, chaos, death. I thought of how nature mirrored it so perfectly I had to preserve it in a poem. Do you see how nature mirrors man? Or is it man mirroring nature?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Your Story
If you were a book, what would it be? Would it be a tale of mystifying adventure? Would it be a mystery filled with twists and turns? Would it be a romance filled with your heart? Or would it be a tale of a dull, boring life and was highly predictable? To tell you the truth...my story, would be the last one. Sure my life contains some interesting people who intrude in my life on a weekly basis. But as a whole, my life is dull, boring, and predictable. Even I can guess what I'm gonna do next....wait....well, you get my point. I live the life I want to live in my dreams, and my stories. I'm a writer. I was born to express my deepest thoughts in words, that when spoken or read out of context, have no meaning.
Perhaps one day my dream of wanting to be a Christian Fiction Novelist will come true. But for now, I'm a student. Going day to day, class to class, boring to boring. To be honest, I'm tired of it. One can only find so much fullfillment from dreams, you know? But when I write, its as if my dreams come to life. It's as if my thoughts finally make sense and the world comes together and sings in song....or something like that.
I hope that you, my readers (if I have any), find my stories, poems, and insights interesting. I hope that my story will change. I hope to one day make a difference with the words I type on my computer and write in my notebooks. You have the power to write your own story, let it be a good one.
(This was inspired by my favorite video game of all time Final Fantasy X)
Perhaps one day my dream of wanting to be a Christian Fiction Novelist will come true. But for now, I'm a student. Going day to day, class to class, boring to boring. To be honest, I'm tired of it. One can only find so much fullfillment from dreams, you know? But when I write, its as if my dreams come to life. It's as if my thoughts finally make sense and the world comes together and sings in song....or something like that.
I hope that you, my readers (if I have any), find my stories, poems, and insights interesting. I hope that my story will change. I hope to one day make a difference with the words I type on my computer and write in my notebooks. You have the power to write your own story, let it be a good one.
(This was inspired by my favorite video game of all time Final Fantasy X)
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